Let me preface this by saying, I don’t actually want to be skinny, but I believed I did for many years. As a result, I went through multiple eating disorders and still battle body dysmorphia and body-image issues on occasion. Those eating disorders caused long-term damage to my body and gut health which now makes it really hard for me to lose weight. Looking back on things, I wish I would have desired to be healthier and fitter as a teenager, rather than skinny, because it made me miserable. I would barely eat and it was sustainable for a year/two years max, but then I would gain the fat back, and more! I had a long journey with ups and downs and I still have a long way to go, but today, I am SO MUCH healthier and happier!
Alright cool story bro, but how did you change your mindset and get healthy?
- Proper goal-setting: Rather than setting fat loss or weight loss goals, set actionable activity goals. An actionable goal is something achievable that you know you’ll be able to track. Let’s say my goal for this month is to walk 5K steps per day for at least 5 days per week and work my way up to more! This is just an example of how I would personally set an actionable goal, so it may look a little different for you, and that’s okay! I guarantee that you will feel way more accomplished when you successfully complete this goal. Looking in the mirror after a month, a physical change may not always be apparent, but I promise the change is there! The feeling of accomplishing an attainable activity goal at the end of the month is the success you need to keep going. You’ll be telling yourself, “I can totally do more!” I am OBSESSED with walking, I love to hike and usually go on a 6-8 mile walk several times a week. I don’t walk with the intention of changing the way I look, instead, I do it because I genuinely enjoy it and have fun doing it too! A nice little nature walk allows me to connect with my inner thoughts and enjoy a little bit of this beautiful world! Walking brings me peace and you should find an activity that does the same for you and set an actionable goal!
2. Find clothes that make you feel like a 10: This may sound so silly, but I swear by it! Everyone says don’t hide your body and they are right, but there’s a way to dress your body and feel like a million bucks. Fashion trends will always make us feel shitty because maybe you don’t look like Kim K. or even someone you know personally that may have an unattainable body, but modify what you need to! There’s no need to compare yourself to others. Clothes are not a “one size fits all” solution! Example: I love crop tops, but I feel soooo uncomfortable in them. Instead of pairing them with tight jeans that make me feel insecure, I pair them with loose flowy pants or a high-waisted flowy skirt. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with me wearing jeans and a crop top! I personally feel much more comfortable and confident in the flowy pants or skirt & this is the goal. Wear the clothes that make you feel like you’re unstoppable! I found it really helpful to learn about body shapes and the types of clothes that suit your body shape. I may have to write a separate post on this, but there are so many different body shapes, a few are: apple, pear, hour-glass, etc. Once you find out what your body shape is and what clothes look the best on you, experiment away! This is the fun part 🙂 I’d be lying if I said this is a perfect solution, but it can be a great start to a new beginning! At times, I still dread finding an outfit for a special occasion and that will happen sometimes, but knowing what flatters your body shape really does help boost confidence – when you feel good, you look that much better!
3. Cut out negative relationships: I stopped talking to individuals who made me feel really unwanted and unimportant. Sometimes it may not be intentional, but I had to stop talking to them because I felt it was a very one-sided friendship. The stress they caused me (along with other stressful factors) led me to be depressed and stress-eat. I feel like life is too short to spend time with the wrong people. You are far too special and your time is too valuable to be spent on people who may not reciprocate your effort or feelings. Friendship is about uplifting and supporting one another, and it should never be about bringing you down. I never felt like I could be myself around these friends, which leads me to my next point…
4. Be YOU: I struggled for years trying to be someone else in order to please others and with time, I finally realized that I’m way happier being true to myself. I’m not ashamed of saying that pizza is my favorite food, I am a religious person, or that basketball is a love of mine. We can never truly please everyone in this world – people will always find something negative to say about you, but if you truly love and value yourself, none of that should even matter because you know your own worth. I now have friends in my life who love me for me and the things I love! I feel like I can freely speak my mind and be myself which is such a liberating feeling and adds a ton more happiness and peace to your life! People will often come into your life to take advantage of something you offer, so always try your best to recognize this energy and don’t let them mooch off your positivity! It can be so emotionally draining to give someone so much of your time and energy and not have it be reciprocated. Focus on YOU and the energy you need to surround yourself with!
5. Don’t deprive yourself: I often notice that when I cut something out of my diet and have a cheat day, I end up binging which ruins my progress for the entire week. It’s better to be consistent and allow yourself a little treat whenever you please so you’re not wondering when the next time you can have an Oreo will be. That mentality will cause you to eat an entire package of Oreos in one sitting and still not feel satisfied the next day. Aside from physical progress, this plays with your mental health and can heighten your feelings of depression or sadness making it feel like you can’t live a normal life. But guess what? You deserve to live freely and have a normal amount of indulgence when your heart desires! Moderation is key, so too little or too much of one thing is not healthy for you and a good balance is key to success! Find your balance and in turn, you’ll find your happiness and yourself.
6. Do YOU: As a single girl, I often find myself doing activities by myself since most of my friends are in relationships. This is actually a blessing, believe it or not! The more time I spent with myself, the more I began to value myself and understand the meaning of loving yourself. Think about it, who else are you able to spend a whole 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with and not get sick of them? YOU. You know yourself best so take some time and discover the activities that bring you the enthusiasm to wake up the next day! Journal, go for a walk, think while doing a mundane task or taking a hot shower. You have all the time to find the things that make you feel like you. There’s no timeline! Finding the things that brought me inner peace and happiness made it easier for me to feel a little better about my struggle with weight loss rather than constantly feeling drained from the struggle of not seeing the needle go down on the scale.
There are so many more ways I boosted my health, confidence and happiness, these are just some of my favorite things I did! I still have days where I look in the mirror and wish I was in another body, but I have become way more comfortable and confident in my own body after implementing some of these pick-me-ups! I hope some of these tips can help you too 🙂